Blairology Relationship Guide

Dr. Love's guide to the wild journey that is relationship.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Sexuality and Marriage: A Biblical View

In The Women's Bible Commentary they talk about the wives of David. I find it interesting that David and Solomon have so many wives and that it seems as if a female’s sexuality is the property of their father or husband. “The marriage of a young woman was a matter of negotiation and financial arrangements between the groom… and the father or leading male of the bride’s family (WBC p 96).” Saul does this with his daughters Merab and Michal. I think that a closer look at this cultural institution of marriage and a comparison to our cultural institution of marriage would be very helpful in our current situation in America.

People talk about the “Biblical view” of marriage and how we need to get back to that view in America. We are even having heated debates about amending the constitution to ban Gay Marriage. The “traditional” Christian view of marriage and sexuality needs to be reconsidered and evaluated in light of the biblical narrative. It seems that the institution of marriage was created as a matter of control to maintain power and continue the oppression of women. Saul used his daughters’ sexuality and the promise of marriage to David in order to take power over David wanting David to get killed while he was fighting the Philistines for the girl.

Sexuality and Marriage is being used in today’s American society to exploit and oppress. Sexuality is exploited in the media to sell products and make money. Sexuality is oppressed in the church in order to control our congregations. Our churches tell our young people that the biblical view is that True Love Waits so no sex before you get married, end of discussion.

This polarization of sexuality, between exploitation and oppression, has caused generations of people to have an unhealthy sexuality. Their sexuality has been taken from them. It is either used by the world or it is oppressed by the church, those are the only two options offered to young people in today’s society.

What we need to do instead of exploiting and oppressing is to start empowering. The message needs to be: God has given you a great and precious gift, which is your own sexuality. It is yours and no one else’s. Not the world’s, not the church’s, not your father’s, not your mother’s. This gift is given to you freely. Don’t let man take away what God has given you.

We see the harm that sexual oppression can cause in the book of Samuel. Women treated like property without a voice, used for the power of their father. Women being bought and sold, and like in the story of Tamar, women being raped and abused. The same is going on in our own society, in our own culture. The Biblical narrative cries out against this oppression and calls for the sexual empowerment of God’s children.

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